Two lines.....what does it mean?

It all started with WOW I'm so tired, I'm really emotional and very nauseated.
Surely I'm not pregnant I told myself.....I'll just take this extra test I've had laying around since I was trying with Ezra and jump in the shower......then as I'm in the shower my heart is pounding and I'm telling myself there is no way (but truly knowing deep inside what the real truth is).

I get out and sure enough theres one line, then two. NO WAY! I tell myself. Ezra isn't even one yet and he isn't even walking.

I get in the car and go for a ride to clear my head and leave the madhouse behind and as I'm getting into the car my husband says "your that emotional about something that your really leaving?"

"Yes" I tell him.

After an honest prayer I realize that my plan is not always The Plan. You see the two months leading up to this I was constantly thinking I could be done with three.....my body is a few pounds away from being back, I'm feeling like I'm sort of in control of everything....yeah I really feel good with three and content. But, I guess this little one is telling me differently.

I come home and tell Jake we need to go get the kids ready for church so we won't be late. He comes into the bathroom and says "what's this?"

"What do you mean what's this?"

"Are you checking for ovulation?"

"NO"

"Well what does it mean?"

"What do you think it means? It has two lines."

"Really?" and he begins to laugh.....and I begin to cry.

"There's no way!" he says.

"Well obviously there is, because I am." I state quietly.

We have recently just started telling our family and friends. I am almost sixteen weeks. We wanted to wait a while due to past experiences with miscarriages, and due to the fact I was having problems with my placenta being torn and irritated. Things are starting to look better now and we are very excited. I know I will be very very very very busy. But, I also know that I am very blessed. As I have gone into the doctors appointments and had ultrasounds the crazy thing is is that none of my dates match with the ultrasound dates.....just another reason for me to feel blessed enough to know that this sweet little spirit needs to come into our home at this time. I know things happen for a reason and although I am feeling very overwhelmed and inadequate I am very lucky and blessed to know that whatever his plan is will happen regaurdless of what I think. I can't wait to meet this new little one and have him or her in our home......January seems so close but yet so far away.